Make Active Verbs and Voice a Habit
主動語態養成法
這一篇文章，其實嚴格說起來，是Chapter 1幫文章瘦身的延伸。好的文章就應該像妙齡女郎的迷你裙，而不是老阿嬤的裹腳布，所以應該要越短越好。大家在寫SOP或是自傳的時候，實在不需要一口氣寫個四、五頁。記得Less is more這個大原則，寫出來的東西，就不會差到哪兒去。這一章我分享如何以主動語態來代替被動語態，讓你成功幫句子瘦身。
如
果你不知道什麼是主動語態，什麼又是被動語態，沒關係，不要告訴別人，因為看完這一篇寫作教戰守則，你就會馬上清楚了。不要對外自曝其短，偷偷摸摸把這篇
文章下載，然後仔細看下面的說明與例句，下回你寫作文的時候，就能將學到的東西拿來用了。其實主動語態是英文寫作的黃金守則，這件事情美國小孩也知道，但
是知難行易，連外國人都很難遵守這個要求。這就好比我跟大家說，珍珠奶茶除了好喝之外，其實一無是處，大家心裡明明很清楚，卻還是經常流連茶水店門口….所以這黃金寫作準則的第二章，一定要跟大家說，無論如何儘量以主動語態說話或是表達訊息，戒除被動語態這個壞習慣，你的寫作實力就能向前大步邁進。
有話直說，不要繞圈圈
被動語態不但看起來八股又無趣，且訊息有時候不甚清楚，是典型的寫作地雷。有時候還會越描越黑，讓看的人摸不著頭緒，寫的人也覺得傷透腦筋。
如果不相信的話，請看下面這個簡單例句:
The piano
was played by
the girl.
問題出在哪裡?這句英文是以被動語態寫出來的。被動語態最為人詬病的地方，就在於這樣的寫法，顛覆了英文最基本的主詞+動詞+受詞結構。這個基本結構是最有力也最簡潔的表達方式。
鋼琴被小女孩彈奏。中文你不會這樣講吧，如果中文不這樣說，英文也別這麼寫。有些人以為一個句子裡只要有助動詞或是be動詞，句子就是被動語態了。其實不一定。沒錯，所有的被動語態都會有助動詞，但這種辨識法則並不見得一定正確，不信請看下面兩個句子：
She was walking
down the street 這不是被動語態。
The authorities
have been
looking into the case這也不是被動語態
只要不是被動語態就OK。現在再回到上面那個句子
The piano
was played by
the girl. (被動)
The girl played
the piano.(主動)
感覺好多了吧。不但字數減少了，訊息也比較簡潔清楚了。台灣學生寫英文作文，最大的問題在於「鬼打牆式」的表達。永無止境地繞圈圈，其實只是在重複一個相同概念罷了，這樣的情形說明了大家沒有看法，沒有立場，寫作只是觸及表面scratching the surface沒有見地。更糟的是，在重複相同點子的過程中，使用了一堆被動語態，伴隨其他文法錯誤(如介系詞，時態之類的混淆與錯誤)，那整篇文章還真的像是一場災難。
現在提供一些主動與被動的例句，讓大家比較一下差異點:
(主動)All residents must submit their questionnaire before the end of
October.
(被動)A questionnaire must be submitted by all the residents before the
end of October.
(主動)The teacher announced the winner of the contest.
(被動)the winner of the contest was announced by the teacher.
(主動)The yellow school bus picked up the students.
(被動)The students were picked up by the yellow school bus.
被動語態除了比較冗長之外，重要訊息總是被擱置到最後才宣布，這樣的做法，單就英文來看，是比較弱weak的寫法，通常也比較缺乏說服力。將主動語態的寫作養成習慣，可以讓訊息更清楚。
有時候在特定的狀況下，也可以使用被動語態，不過這一個章節，我們先將焦點放在主動語態上。整體而言，主動語態是寫作良伴，單一動詞的主動語態通常能讓訊息更簡潔、更具說服力，請看下面的例句:
(簡潔)Janice Kate was dominant
in the anti-smoking campaign.
(更有力)Janice Kate dominated the anti-smoking campaign.
以此類推，下面是一些常用的動詞，記得我自創的六字打油詩，幫助大家記得黃金寫作準則的口訣:
簡潔有力是寶，
說太多會遜掉。
1.
I’ve decided to
go college. (讚)
I’ve made a decision to
go to college (遜)
2.
He intends to
apologize to Mary(讚)
He has the intention of apologizing
to Mary.(遜)
He has the intention to
apologize to Mary.(一樣遜)
3.
He demonstrated
his cooking skills in front of his mother. (讚)
He gave a demonstration
of his cooking skills in front of his mother.
(遜)
4.
I tried to
improve myself. (讚)
I made an effort
to improve myself.(遜)
請你跟我這樣做 Do As I Say
接下來請幫下面的句子瘦身吧! (紅字圈出為肥肉區)
減肥前
<!--[if !supportLists]-->1.
<!--[endif]-->We managed
to determine the project’s deadline.
<!--[if !supportLists]-->2.
<!--[endif]-->The president has made a request that employees give their support to community arts.
<!--[if !supportLists]-->3.
<!--[endif]-->The group offered
a donation of food and clothing to the charity.
<!--[if !supportLists]-->4.
<!--[endif]-->Please provide
us with a summary of your proposal.
<!--[if !supportLists]-->5.
<!--[endif]-->This equipment will serve to make reductions in maintenance cost over
time.
<!--[if !supportLists]-->6.
<!--[endif]-->We want to make progress
toward the goal of better communication skills.
<!--[if !supportLists]-->7.
<!--[endif]-->Please do
a study of the policy’s effects.
<!--[if !supportLists]-->8.
<!--[endif]-->Take the corner of the
paper and make a fold on the dotted line.
<!--[if !supportLists]-->9.
<!--[endif]-->Give them an estimate of
your total cost after you’ve done a calculation of
the new figures.
<!--[if !supportLists]-->10. <!--[endif]-->You will please note that Ms. Ames made an objection.
減肥前後對照
<!--[if !supportLists]-->1.
<!--[endif]-->We managed
to determine the project’s deadline.
We determined the project’s deadline.
<!--[if !supportLists]-->2.
<!--[endif]-->The president has made a request that employees give their support to community arts.
The president asked employees to
support community art.
<!--[if !supportLists]-->3.
<!--[endif]-->The group offered
a donation of food and clothing to the charity.
The group donated food and clothing
to the charity.
<!--[if !supportLists]-->4.
<!--[endif]-->Please provide
us with a summary of your proposal.
Please summarize your proposal.
<!--[if !supportLists]-->5.
<!--[endif]-->This equipment will serve to make reductions in maintenance cost over
time.
This equipment will reduce maintenance
cost over time.
<!--[if !supportLists]-->6.
<!--[endif]-->We want to make progress
toward the goal of better communication skills.
Our goal is better communication
skills.
<!--[if !supportLists]-->7.
<!--[endif]-->Please do
a study of the policy’s effects.
Please study the policy’s effects.
<!--[if !supportLists]-->8.
<!--[endif]-->Take the corner of the
paper and make a fold on the dotted line.
Fold the paper on the dotted line.
<!--[if !supportLists]-->9.
<!--[endif]-->Give them an estimate of
your total cost after you’ve done a calculation of
the new figures.
Estimate your total cost after you’ve
calculated the new figures.
<!--[if !supportLists]-->10. <!--[endif]-->You will please note that Ms. Ames made an objection.
Please note that Ms. Ames objected.
以上題目出自The Book on Writing by Paula LaRocque
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