托福寫作 – 獨立題的紙上演繹
新托福iBT的寫作分成兩個部份，一個是Integrated
task，就是要受測者看一段學術性的文章，緊接著聽一段演講，然後要求根據演講的內容與先前閱讀所獲得的訊息，整合起來寫一篇文章。另一部分是獨立題Independent task。
通常來找我幫忙的同學，多半是寫獨立題給我修改。其實我個人認為，獨立題其實更難寫，更能看出實力。教托福這些年來，改過的文章數百篇，雖然我教授的科目
是聽力與口說，不過對於同學修改作文的請託，我向來不會拒絕，只要時間許可，我都會傾力相助。改過這麼多篇，我發覺大家的文章都有一些共同的問題，請看看
下面我的分析:
1.沒有梗，沒有內容，沒有想法。
這
是最嚴重的問題。一開始我以為，大家可能會卡在單字不夠，文法不正確或是句型結構有問題這類的「技術性」問題。後來慢慢發現。當然單字文法這些文題都存
在，可是另一個讓我心驚的是，文章沒有想法。所有的觀點指是陳述表面的觀察，完全沒有深刻的洞見。當然我明白，區區幾百個字能有什麼洞見？不過大多數的同
學，內容貧瘠到我覺得有點心驚。寫不出什麼東西，有很多原因。可能受制於語文，可能受制於生活歷練或背景。針對這個問題，我開的處方如下：
- 治標不治本 – 每個題目都要參考一篇範本。看看別人怎麼寫，至少可以學一點起來。
- 治本之道 – 多閱讀，充實背景知識。看新聞，看雜誌，上網不是打電動，而是去關心地球發生了甚麼事情。這樣的努力需要有耐性才能看出成果，切勿貪快。知識的累積沒有時間表，一點一滴按部就班來，真的會進步。
2.文章的起頭立論不清楚，結尾草草了事。(頭重腳輕、虎頭蛇尾)
這個問題其實不難更正，也比沒有梗來得好些。只要收看我下面的分析與範例導演，就能一目瞭然。結論不是重複題目，大家別再繼續錯下去了。
3.單字知道的太少，重複的字一直出現。
如果要講電視對小孩的傷害，大家只會一直寫sex and violence, not good to children. Bad influence這類的字眼，不斷重複。少用英文成語。另外因為有時找不到確切的字眼，造成一直不斷用英文描述一個物件或是情境，讓文章落落長卻打不到重點。比方說要說年輕人很容易受到外界影響，這樣的描繪就會寫成young people are very easily
affected by the outside world. They will see and do what others do and so they
don’t have their own opinions and ideas….這樣一直寫到天長地久，其實上述的解釋，只需要一個關鍵字就解決了。Young
people are very impressionable.不會impressionable就得一直繞來繞去。
4.句子太長，捨不得用句號。
寫到後來變成一大段只有一個句號，豆芽菜(逗號)一大堆。這是典型的run on sentence.
5.答非所問。
題目問你說，有時候人應該學著去做一些自己不喜歡的事情，你同意嗎？你回答，我十分同意。一開始以這樣的態度破題非常好，只可惜寫到後來，就離題越來越遠。請看下面這個例子:
I think sometimes we need to do the things we
don’t enjoy doing. This is very important, because we need to face challenges. There
are many challenges in life. Whether we like them or not, we should face them. We
shouldn’t run away from them because they are good for us. I admire Steve Jobs.
He had faced many challenges in his life and he managed to overcome some of the
life’s most difficult challenges. He didn’t become an iconic figure for no
reason. He had turned apple into a world-class brand. I can learn a lot from
him…
同學看出來了嗎？上面這篇文章離題了。一開始說：人總是要面對不喜歡的事情，因為人生總有挑戰要面對。將不喜歡的事情當成是挑戰，這樣寫其實不一定妥當，就算要當挑戰，也要說明為何是挑戰？沒交代清楚就天外飛來一筆搞定，緊接著提到賈柏斯(扯有夠遠)，最後讀著讀著我好狐疑，以為這篇文章寫的是The person I admire the most。所以大家要記得，英文是邏輯性的語言，看好題目就要一次到位，千萬別扯東扯西，讓思緒像大樹一樣開枝散葉，這樣只會誤導與製造誤解。
所以到底該怎麼寫才好？請大家一定要先擬定大綱。如果你不會擬大綱，可以參考我提供的大綱參範本。我覺得寫作光是給模板不行，因為大家的問題不在於句型不會用，而是根本不曉得該怎麼處理很多問題，所以經常答非所謂，要不就是隨便亂攪和一番敷衍了事。
TOEFL Writing Topics
The lists of TOEFL Independent Writing topics
below can help you gain a better understanding of the type of essay you could
be asked to write on your exam. Rather than give you one long confusing list of
topics, the essay topics have been divided into five categories. This is not an
exhaustive list, but only a representative sample of essay topics. When
practicing for your exam, make sure to write essays from each of the five
categories so you will be ready for any kind of essay on exam day.
托福的獨立型寫作題目類型，大致分成下面幾種，每一種都要練習到才行：
Types of TOEFL Essay Topics
托福的寫作獨立題，很多題型類似托福口說Speaking，相似度非常高。所以我費心整理了一套托福寫作自修法，希望能幫助同學，提高寫作分數。之前我班上的同學Christine有拿過作文給我改，她是一個很有耐心寫大綱的人，果然去考托福，一次就破百，寫作項目甚至拿了滿分。這讓我更深信，練習大綱是必要的一件事情。另外，每一個題目都要給大家一個範文參考，不能只是丟句型模板出來，讓大家自行拼湊。所以我目前正致力整理185個寫作題目的範文，希望很快就能與大家分享。
以托福寫作考試來說，你只有三十分鐘可以寫一篇三百多字的文章，我知道時間不多，可是請各位還是花五分鐘構思，寫一下大綱，確保自己不是處於一種「且戰且走」play by ear的狀態。You have to know what you’re doing in order to do well.所以寫作很像是打仗，沒有人帶了頭盔披了槍枝就跑上戰場(除非想當砲灰)，一定要先沙盤推演，有個方向，寫起來也踏實許多。
高分托福寫作應具備的條件
- Develop any topic into a well-organized, logical answer.
第一點，注意結構，邏輯性要強。多看範文，多練習。這不難。
- Use synonyms to paraphrase the question
第二點，就是我經常上課耳提面命的請大家不要再依賴英漢字典了，多使用英英字典或是同義字典，這樣才能用不同的字彙去解釋題目。
- Use a variety of sentence structures & grammatical forms
第三點，用詞遣字與句型多做變化，這樣讀起來流暢又賞心悅目，這並不容易，可是多看多寫多學，一定可以做到。
- Begin with a simple, strong introduction
這一點我不斷強調，不要囉嗦，一開始就破題，把立場說出來，句子越短越吸睛。前兩周我不斷教大家幫句子瘦身，所以要記得less is more.
- Create body paragraphs that flow logically
同學一般寫到這邊就迷失了。有時候離題，有時候答非所問。如果你有擬定大綱，比較不會發生這種現象。即便詞窮，頂多重複用字，也不至於胡言亂語、語無倫次。
- Develop unity by linking the body paragraphs
連接每一個段落也是大家的弱點，有些文章每一段看起來都各自獨立毫不相干。記得因果關係，每一個看法都會衍生出一定的結果，或是產生必要的聯結，所以這在下筆前就要想好，別隨興亂寫，畢竟我們不是在考現代詩歌。
- End with a memorable conclusion
可能是累了，可能是想要放棄了，可能從來也沒搞懂結論是什麼。所以結論寫得好的人沒幾個。我幫同學改文章，結論幾乎都是我在寫。不過不要灰心，我會設計範文給大家參考，並且解釋為何這麼做。
托福獨立題寫作實戰演練
托福獨立題寫作實戰演練
Do you agree or disagree with the
following statement:
People should sometimes do things that
they do not enjoy doing.
Use specific reasons and details to
support your answer.
題目來了。這種題目不好寫。該怎麼辦呢？不要急，我們先來擬定大綱。
寫作大綱範例
Introduction:開頭(表明立場)
<!--[if !supportLists]-->1.
<!--[endif]-->(表明立場)Agree. We need to do things we don’t enjoy doing in order to
train or prepare ourselves.
Necessary – need to face life’s many fronts. It will help us grow
and mature, also help our financial and social situations
Body:
這是文章的牛肉，你要舉例子來說明自己的立場，記得要明確且符合邏輯。
Provide Supporting points立論支撐點
1.Personally – mature/ self
control/keep priorities straight and get good grades. Become stronger, more
reliable. E.g.:
parents-baby. Students- study.
2.Socially – can learn to
be independent, unselfish, caring for others.
E.g.: participate events, fulfill
social roles.
3.Financially – work, fulfill obligations, be committed, save for retirement. E.g.: work to earn money, to support family and communities. Pay taxes.
Conclusion:結論
Life places huge demands. By taking
part in various activities, (以上是上述觀點的整合)get to explore more and live fuller
lives(這是由整合觀點後推出的結論)
全文參考
第一段說明為何選擇同意的立場。第一句超短。破題句越短越好，非常醒目，言簡意賅，更有說服力。第一段在說明選擇做不喜歡的事情有其必要，重點分成三塊，細節會在下面的段落中一一詳述。這種寫法討好，因為結構清楚，讀者會知道what to expect from your essay. 你要討論三個面向，看起來非常豐富，令人期待。
Life
is challenging. In order to be happy and successful, we need to prepare
ourselves on many fronts. Although participating in enjoyable activities is
always desirable, in my view it is also necessary at times to do things we do
not enjoy. The bases for my view are personal, social and financial.
以下就是Body，也就是牛肉的部分。這邊你不囉嗦，先從個人開始(大綱就是這樣寫的)強迫自己做不喜歡的事情，其實不但有必要，也會有學習(有好處)所以你舉兩個例子說明。第一個是新手爸媽照顧小孩，第二個是學生要拒絕玩樂誘惑、強迫自己用功念書。這兩件事情都不是很enjoyable的。
Personally,
doing things we don’t care for builds character and helps us mature. For instance,範例1when parents
have their first baby they are forced to give up their freedom in order to look
after the child. There are times when parents barely get enough sleep and still
have to get up and go to work in the morning. 範例二Similarly,
when students are in school and university, they need to spend a lot of time
studying. In spite of being tempted to go out with friends and attend parties,
those who have self-control and keep their priorities straight are the ones who
get high grades. Through such life experiences people become stronger, wiser
and more responsible.最後變成負責任且聰明的強者
接下來從社交的角度來看。這個社會有很多義務要去履行，有些我們不喜歡，膽是不喜歡也得做。每個人扮演的社會角色不同。為了別人去參加活動，讓我們學習為人付出。學習分享與無私。
From a social perspective, we live in an interdependent world which imposes its obligations on us. Each person belongs to diverse social groups and plays various social roles. Each of us has to attend birthday parties, weddings and funerals to show we care about our fellow human beings. Participating in events for the sake of others teaches us to go beyond our own selfish needs and to share in the joys and sorrows of others.
第三點提到的是理財。花錢很爽，但是工作與儲蓄不是什麼享受。從小我講到大我。賺錢繳稅讓社會得以維持下去。沒人愛上班，但工作讓我們賺足夠的錢生活，這是我們應盡的義務，也是提早為退休做打算。
Financially-speaking,
people need to work - and spend - to keep the local, national and international
economy growing. We need to support our own family in particular and our
community in general. In fact, most of us work many more hours than we would
like to work. What propels us to continue working is our financial needs,
commitments and obligations. Only in this way are we able to live comfortable
lifestyles and save for our retirement days.
最後一段是結論，說明人生在世本來就有很多使命，很多事情不是我們喜歡的。可是透過從事這些事情，可以發掘生命的可能，找到自己的特質，讓生命更完整。結論完全沒有重複到前面用過的單字與論點。這一段結論說明了從事not so enjoyable的事情有其reward.
In conclusion, life places huge demands on us, and some can be rather unpleasant. But unpleasant things do have their rewards, by participating in a wide variety of activities and dive into the things we don’t enjoy, we get to explore life’s deeper issues and discover more about our unique selves. It is often these obligations that make our lives fuller and more complete.
全文五個段落
下面是完整不打擾版
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement: Only people who earn a lot of money are successful. Use specific reasons and details to support your
answer.
Life is challenging.
In order to be happy and successful, we need to prepare ourselves on many
fronts. Although participating in enjoyable activities is always desirable, in
my view it is also necessary at times to do things we do not enjoy. The bases
for my view are personal, social and financial.
Personally, doing things we don’t care for builds character and helps us mature. For instance, when parents have their first baby they are forced to give up their freedom in order to look after the child. There are times when parents barely get enough sleep and still have to get up and go to work in the morning Similarly, when students are in school and university, they need to spend a lot of time studying. In spite of being tempted to go out with friends and attend parties, those who have self-control and keep their priorities straight are the ones who get high grades. Through such life experiences people become stronger, wiser and more responsible.
From a social perspective, we live in an interdependent world which imposes its obligations on us. Each person belongs to diverse social groups and plays various social roles. Each of us has to attend birthday parties, weddings and funerals to show we care about our fellow human beings. Participating in events for the sake of others teaches us to go beyond our own selfish needs and to share in the joys and sorrows of others.
Financially-speaking, people need to work - and spend - to keep the local, national and international economy growing. We need to support our own family in particular and our community in general. In fact, most of us work many more hours than we would like to work. What propels us to continue working is our financial needs, commitments and obligations. Only in this way are we able to live comfortable lifestyles and save for our retirement days.
In conclusion, life places huge demands on us, and some can be rather unpleasant. But unpleasant things do have their rewards, by participating in a wide variety of activities and dive into the things we don’t enjoy, we get to explore life’s deeper issues and discover more about our unique selves. It is often these obligations that make our lives fuller and more complete.
文章出處：http://chloeyachun.blogspot.tw/
作者：哈佛老師Chloe (聽.說與寫作課程)
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